The last time I wrote to you, I wrote about love and today I will be writing on crush and how you can rightly handle it.
Crush can be defined has an intense and usually passing infatuation. It can also be defined has a feeling of romantic love that you have for someone, especially someone you do not know well.
Often times than not, teenagers ask if it is normal to have a crush on a person of the opposite sex and my answer to this is YES but still you do not want to have a crush on every single person of the opposite sex that you come in contact with. Here are simple ways you can handle a crush:
1. Guard your heart: Proverbs 4: 23 -“keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.” You become what you think about. So watch what you think about. The way to a girl’s life is through her heart and the things that have the most effect on her heart is the words she listens to. Philippians 4 vs 8 talks about the right things you should think about please read it. If what you are thinking about concerning your crush doesn’t have those characteristics then it’s not worth you thinking about.
2. Accept that you have a crush and don’t get your hopes high for romance: Instead of you trying to deny what you actually feel for that person, face it and deal with it but don’t get your hopes high for having a romantic relationship with the person because a lot of times it doesn’t just work out the way you want because the other person might not feel what you are feeling for him. So be realistic. If you discover that he doesn’t like you the way you like him and that He sees you has a friend accept the truth so you won’t end up wasting your emotions on him. I know it’s a little bit difficult for you to accept the fact that your crush doesn’t like you but the earlier you allow God to help you accept that fact the better it becomes for you because with each passing day it gets more difficult. I will advice you to read one of my previous post “A letter to my heart.” I wrote it when I was dealing with a crush and I know the lessons there will help you. I want you to also know that the fact that your crush doesn’t like you doesn’t mean that you don’t have what it takes for him to like you more than a friend, it just means that he isn’t the one for you and there is someone better that God has in store for you so instead of forcing yourself on someone, wait patiently on God to bring that person that will accept you the way you are and value you. Let me quickly add this. A lot of girls do things that makes their crush to know that they like them. Please never, ever tell your crush what you feel for him and never you show it in your actions too because if you do, he will see you has a girl who is cheap and desperate and I know you won’t want that kind of qualification. And If your crush likes you and wants to have a relationship with you. I want you to ask God about it first because He is the one that knows who is best for you and what time is the best for you to go into a relationship so don’t just rush into it because you are pressurized to do so or because you think you are in love. Tell God about it and you won’t make a mistake.
3. Distance yourself from the person: unfollow on social networks. I believe if you want to get over your crush you don’t have to keep having the person around you all the time. As the popular saying goes “out of sight is out of mind.” The more you are around the person the more you fuel your feeling’s for the person. Don’t continue to hurt yourself by checking the updates of the person on his various social networks. You can unfollow without actually unfriending him( most especially on Facebook). This will save you from hurting yourself because you know that you aren’t part of his life has you would have loved to be. And even if you have to be in the same room, for example, if you are in the same class or office you don’t need to fix your mind on him. You can think of other useful things. The point is just to distract yourself so he is no longer in your thoughts.
4. Get a life: be busy doing the things you love. Don’t be idle. Don’t sit down day-dreaming about someone that might not even know that you exist. There is no possibility of you thinking about him if you are busy. Do the things you love doing( meet some new people, get involved in charity, get involved in your school or church activities, learn a trade, go for that trip, do the things you’ve always dreamt about to do. etc). Just enjoy yourself has a single with or without the guy.
5. Don’t transfer your feelings to a new target: because you are trying to get over a crush doesn’t mean that you should transfer your attention to someone else. If you do, you will be treading the same path you trode with your last crush. Have good friends that will help you to be a better you and maintain good relationships without strings attached. Above all have a close relationship with God because Jesus is the best lover that you can ever have.
The next time I will be writing to you, I will be writing on fear and how you can handle it. Till then continue to bask in God’s love for you. Maranatha!