Every woman in the world not withstanding their nationality, race or ethnicity can be categorized into two groups. The first being the “Lady wisdom category” and the second being the “Madame Whore category.” These two women have marks that makes it easy to identify them. The Bible in Song of Solomon 8:9 pictured Lady Wisdom as a wall and madame Whore as a door.
Lady Wisdom (a wall) is a woman whose life is built on convictions and truth from God’s word. She is firm and unyielding to the wrong kinds of advances from men while Madame whore ( a door) is a woman whose life is not built on biblical convictions, she is vulnerable to temptation and may well become a temptress herself. She is like a door that can be easily swayed. She is loose and has turned aside from a life of purity and integrity.
We live in a world where a lot of people including Christians have lost their sense of morality; a world where words like modest, discreet, and chaste are no longer popular and even when they are used they are usually frowned at. It is important for us as Christian women never to forget that we belong to a Kingdom with standards and the genuine nature of our identity is in we keeping those standards. We belong to a kingdom that cannot be moved and whose builder and maker is God it is therefore important for us to represent that kingdom well.
Proverbs 7 describes in details the marks of Madame Whore and it is important that as you read through it you ask God if any of the characteristics of this woman describes you?
“My son, keep my words, And treasure my commands within you. Keep my commands and live, And my law as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” And call understanding your nearest kin, That they may keep you from the immoral woman, From the seductress who flatters with her words.
For at the window of my house I looked through my lattice, And saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths, A young man devoid of understanding, Passing along the street near her corner; And he took the path to her house In the twilight, in the evening, In the black and dark night. And there a woman met him, With the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart.
She was loud and rebellious, Her feet would not stay at home. At times she was outside, at times in the open square, Lurking at every corner. So she caught him and kissed him; With an impudent face she said to him: “ I have peace offerings with me; Today I have paid my vows. So I came out to meet you, Diligently to seek your face, And I have found you. I have spread my bed with tapestry, Colored coverings of Egyptian linen.
I have perfumed my bed With myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home; He has gone on a long journey; He has taken a bag of money with him, And will come home on the appointed day.”
I have perfumed my bed With myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home; He has gone on a long journey; He has taken a bag of money with him, And will come home on the appointed day.” With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, With her flattering lips she seduced him. Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, Till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, He did not know it would cost his life. Now therefore, listen to me, my children; Pay attention to the words of my mouth: Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths; For she has cast down many wounded, And all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, Descending to the chambers of death.” Proverbs 7:1-27 NKJV
Now that you’ve carefully read through the passage I want you to take note of the marks of this woman. They are:
1. She flatters with her words(Vs 5). This is in contrast to Lady Wisdom in Proverbs 31:21 who “opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Are you the kind of woman that is known to tell the truth in love or do you flatter with your words? Do you speak words that are seasoned with salt and grace (Col 4:6)? Or does unwholesome words come out of your mouth?
2. She places herself in places, situations, and relationships where the potential for wrong doing exists (VS 7-9). The importance of staying away from people, places and situations where the natural instinct would be to do something wrong cannot be over emphasized. Do you stay away from friends, places and situations that will make you to become more vulnerable to temptation and sin? Do you abstain from every form of evil(1 Thes 5:22) or do you entertain them?
3. She is not satisfied with the mate God has provided and has expectations and longings that her husband is not fulfilling ( Vs 19-20). Rather than looking to God to fulfill the deepest needs and longings of her heart, she focuses on what she does not have and looks to others to meet those needs. Do you often look to friends to meet the longings of your heart or do you go to God and trust Him to satisfy you with His love. Single Woman, it is important for you to note that “your maker is your husband (Ish 54:5)” and you have Him to answer too. Being single is not a good enough excuse to live a reckless life. Rather than pouring your love, attention and devotion upon a man or upon searching for a man instead invest your heart, energy and efforts in your relationship with God and watch Him quiet you with His love. Be content with the season of life you are in and let Him bring the right man into your life at the right time. Be still!
4. She is immodest in her dressing ( Vs 10). Modest dress is a mark of a wise godly woman unlike Madame Whore who is dressed “with the attire of an harlot” (the outward manifestation, and having “a crafty heart” (the inward heart that produces the outward manifestation). Our countenance, clothing choices, and behaviour reflect what is on our heart. Your clothing choice says a lot about you and about the value you place on yourself. The heart invariably affects the outward appearance. That is why Madame whore’s dress and her heart are addressed in the same verse. Suggestive, seductive clothing is one of the traps she uses to lure the young man. “And a crafty heart… “ Madame Whore is subtle of heart. This speaks of being crafty in her intent. She is wily and has hidden motives. She has set out to ensnare this young man. Have you ever considered the effect your clothing choice has on the men around you? I am sure you do not want to be the object of lust for the men in your life and neither do you want a man pursuing you for your body. You are royalty, dress like one!
5. She has a “loud” and “rebellious” Spirit(Vs 11). Her demeanor is contrast to that of a gentle and a quiet spirit that is priceless to God( 1 Peter 3:4). She does not exercise restraint or self-control. She is stormy and demanding. Not only is she loud, she is rebellious or stubborn. She is headstrong and defiant against God’s law and against the obligation of morality. Do you rebel against the authority figures God has placed in your life to guide you and help you to make the right decisions? Can you be described as a woman with a gentle and quiet Spirit or one with a loud and rebellious Spirit?
6. She is a gadabout. Her feet would not stay at home(vs 11b-12). In contrast to the wise woman, Madame Whore is not content to be satisfied with where God has put her.
“The greatest Spiritual, moral and emotional protection a woman will ever experience is found when she is content to stay within her God -appointed sphere. This does not mean that she never leaves her house, but rather that her heart is rooted in her home and that she puts her family’s needs above all other interests and pursuits.” _Nancy Leigh De Moss.
Is your family one of your top priorities or does other people come first in your life? Do you consider home making a calling and privilege or something to whine about and shy away from?
7. She is aggressive in her relationship with men ( Vs 13-14). She throws herself on this man-physically and verbally. She is bold in her greeting. She evidences the lack of discretion and restraints. Few women today do not have any concept of what’s wrong with being the initiator. Why shouldn’t girls call boys? Why shouldn’t they ask young men out for dates? Casually, carelessly throwing your arms around men and giving them full frontal hugs is inappropriate. Such behaviour may not have immoral intent, but it is foolish. At best, it pulls down appropriate restraints that ought to exist between men and women; at worst, it can lead to grave sins against God. How do you act around men? Is it with dignity or are you a typical flirt?
8. The foolish woman is indiscreet(Vs 16-17). She talks freely about intimate subjects that should be reserved for conservation with her husband. There are things you don’t talk about in mixed company. You don’t refer to parts of your body in a conversation with a man no matter how close you two are and neither is it proper for you to tell him that you are on your period or that you are having menstrual cramps. He is a man and not one of your girlfriends. Please be wise!
9. She does not understand the nature of true love (Vs 18). True love is giving, not getting. Love can always wait to give, but lust can never wait to get. She is a taker rather than a giver. She seeks immediate gratification, in spite of the fact that her delights of this forbidden fruit will last only until morning. She fails to think about the long-term consequences of her choices, and as a result. She sets herself and others up for moral failure. She is willing to sacrifice her own marriage and integrity, as well as the well-being and future of others, in order to experience a brief taste of the fruit of illicit love. Where have you gotten your definition of love from, the world or God’s word?
10. She lives life without the consciousness of God as “a God who sees”_ El Rio ( Vs 19-20). She thinks no one will know about her secret little sin. How we need to cultivate the fear of the Lord- that constant conscious sense that we are always under God’s watchful eyes whether we are alone or with others. Do you live your life under the reverential fear of God?
11. She is the instrument of a strong man’s undoing ( Vs 26-27). Even men who are spiritually mature can be brought down-controlled, wounded and destroyed by a foolish woman.
The consequences of failing to be a wise woman is deadly. When we are tempted by the immediate pleasures of speaking too freely, letting our emotions and our tongues run wild, or letting our behaviour become careless and unrestrained, we need to consider the long-range consequences of our choices.
Our calling as godly wise women is to be a cheer leader, to lift up the hands of the men God has placed in our lives and to pray for them. Yes, they have weakness, as do we; but we need to encourage them, pray and trust God to make them mighty men of God. Please be a Lady wisdom and not a Madam Whore. I love you but not as much as Christ does!