Feeling low and depressed
Thinking of putting an end to all of this
Yes, I want to put an end to all of this
In fact I have one hundred and one reasons to, but I don’t want it to end like this.
Broken and shattered
living within Love and hatred
Trust and mistrust
Trying to discover what is real
Yet, I don’t know what to believe again or maybe I haven’t even believed anything at all.
Then I heard a voice “I am near to them that are of a broken heart, and I save such that have a contrite spirit. I, I AM, I am REAL. I Am EVERYTHING you want me to be to you.”
Musing about everything I have lost, everything I don’t have and everything I think I won’t be able to have.
He said to me “You aren’t a victim.”
“Life have been so unfair to me.” I told him amidst tears.
” The world wasn’t fair to me too.” I mused, “You don’t understand. I’m not wanted.” I continued.
” I want you. I’ve always wanted you and I’ll forever want you. Remember nights when you slept but your heart was wild awake from musing over how much you wished someone loved you. I was there. I was there each time you cried speaking softly to you, telling you to come with me to the place where I’ll lead you but you never gave me a chance.”
“I’m scared! I don’t know what to believe again. My innocence have been taken away from me. I didn’t even have a normal childhood. I’m defiled.” I said sobbing
” Defiled! No you aren’t. You are my sister, my love, my dove, my delight and my undefiled. My desire is towards you. You! Yes You! You are mine!”
” Stop it!” I cried out. “Stop lying to me. I know the things I’ve done. I’m brutal and wicked! I am weak when I ought to be strong even easily deceived. I am not what you say or think I am.”
“Listen My beloved, though your sins be as red as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson they shall be as wool. I made you perfect. You are the last of everything I created not because you are worthless but because you are the peak of my creativity. You are tender and delicate for a reason.
Your desire have always been for the MAN but that can change if you decide to accept my love for you because no one can truly love you like I do. As a matter of fact I’ve been with you from birth. From your mother’s womb I have cared for you. I’ve searched you and I know you. It will interest you to know that all your days and how you will spend it are written in my book and my thought towards you are precious to give you a hope and a future but you have to trust me.”
“Will you help me take this step because I’m afraid I might be wrong.”
” I’ll help you my beloved. I’ll never leave you, never forsake you. I promise you love! Love!! And more love!!!. Remember you are living in a broken world and things won’t always go the way you envisage but I want you to know that through it all I will be with you and even to your gray hairs will I carry you.
Never listen to the devil when he tells you that you have no value because you are invaluable to me. You have a grand role to play in my scheme of life; you aren’t invisible, I notice you. Please learn to see yourself in and through My eyes that your face may be brightened and that you may not be ashamed. Make sure you also don’t hide away your true self because of fear; apart from giving me a chance in your life this will be your greatest act of faith. Be vulnerable, kind,sweet,courageous,strong and yet tender,be gentle and yet wise, be all I created you to be because I got your back!.”
Having said this He stretched forth His hand towards me and I accepted the offer to dance with Him and ever since I’ve given him a chance in my life I’ve never regretted that I did.
Thank you… for not giving up on me.